The Holiday Blues: Working When Everyone Else is With Family

Posted by Julia | 5 min read

Christmas Eve I was in a hotel room with a client while my family was opening presents three states away.

Holidays are the worst part of this work. Everyone else is with people they love. You're providing emotional labor for strangers who don't want to be alone.

The holiday clients are usually the loneliest ones. Divorced guys who don't have their kids. Widowers facing their first Christmas alone. Men whose families live far away.

They book longer appointments during holidays. Want dinner, conversation, someone to watch movies with. The physical stuff is secondary to just having company.

I understand the need but it's depressing to be someone's hired holiday companion.

Thanksgiving was three clients who all mentioned missing family dinners. Christmas was two appointments with guys who just wanted someone to sit with them.

New Year's Eve I worked because the rates are good. But watching fireworks with a client while my friends were at parties together felt really sad.

The holiday money helps. Clients pay extra for appointments during family times. But earning more doesn't fix the isolation.

You realize how disconnected you are from normal life rhythms. While everyone else is celebrating with loved ones, you're working.

Can't even complain to family or friends because they don't know what you really do for work.

"How was your Christmas?" people ask.

"Fine," I lie. Can't explain that I spent it providing companionship services to lonely men instead of being with people I care about.

The fake cheerfulness required during holiday appointments is exhausting. Clients want you to be festive and upbeat when you're feeling isolated and sad.

Some years I consider taking holidays off entirely. But losing that income means struggling financially the following month.

Catch-22 situation. Need to work to pay bills but working prevents participating in normal holiday activities with family and friends.

This year I'm planning different. Going to book fewer holiday appointments and prioritize being with people I actually want to spend time with.

The extra money isn't worth the emotional cost of missing important moments with real relationships.

Holiday loneliness hits different when it's caused by work choices rather than circumstances beyond your control.

Makes me more motivated to transition out of this work before I spend too many more holidays providing emotional labor instead of enjoying actual relationships.